A blog by Jacqueline Tabora

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It's the last day of the year.

How was your 2017?

For me, it felt like the year has just passed by too quickly. My 2017 has been predominantly nonchalant, nothing to really talk about and share stories about. It just went by, as if it did not come at all. Yes, that's how I feel about this year.

But I got to be thankful, though. It was a year that I have not had major health issues; a year that I did not have problems with personal responsibilities. A year--may I say-- that I realized how strong I am despite living alone and being on my own generally in everything.

It is a year though of cleansing and self-acceptance for me. Let's just say I opted to move away from anything or anyone that seemed to be lingering in my life yet do not contribute anything to lift me higher towards becoming a better person. It is a year that I was not afraid that it would only be me against the world, all about me-- I work for me, I do for me, I hustle for me, I messed up for me. It is a year when I went from "I am worried about what they'd say" to "nah, the hell I care about what they say!". The thought of "I'd rather be alone than to be with fake, unprogressive and worthless people" rubbing in too much on my skin.

Sure I fvcked up at times, but compared to the years that I was younger, I guess 2017 is the year that all I can do is just accept that I fvcked up, lower down my head, release a deep sigh, say "shit!" and then look up, try not to mess up once again and move forward. The emotional side of me is still there, but it does not take the center stage of my life anymore. Sure I still cry over things, but it is not a crybaby fest anymore--- let a teardrop fall, pick up myself and keep going.

Of course, just as they say, "no man is an island". To interact with other people is a necessity. I asked for help from the grocery staff, I asked help from "friends" for opportunities available in the market, I asked others to grant a favor from me. But I guess what I am trying to say is that I was generally independent this year. "I counted on myself."-- maybe that is the right way to say it?

Thank you 2017 for letting me live for another 365 days. The world will continue to revolve and each person out there will have another year to surpass challenges, face their demons, and share their blessings and kindness. One of those people would be ME. 💗💗💗💗💗

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